Undigested Corn

You may not know this but I have a podcast. Actually I have two. Clearly I think I have a lot to say. One is a personal journal podcast called Hello Again It's Brenda Boo where I say too much, share too much, and probably throw my family under the bus too much. The other show I participate in is called Life on the Shit List.  We call it LOTSL because iTunes says you can have an entire show devoted to skat play but for God's sake, do not use the word in the title. Life on the Shit List is a name that occurred to me at a time when I felt my life was particularly shit laden but it's basically the way I've always felt about my life. I am the emotional garbage man picking up and at every one's leftovers trying to make a full heart. This sounds dramatic. I am a girl after all. It's a skill. A  person cannot be subject to this much hormonal change each month and not expect some kind of longterm effects. But estrogen fluctuations aside, can we talk about the way we communicate with each other?

My podcasts allow me to have my say. I can sit in front of my microphone and in an uninterrupted way, speak my mind. Much of the time I am spouting off about the world as I see it. As much as I like to fool myself into thinking I am a "go with the flow" kind of person and that I am not constantly judging the world around me, I do. Oh, I am a world away from the way I used to be. For example, I no longer care what strangers wear unless if you're heavy and I am subjected to too much of your skin. I am fat. I cover up my pasty white flesh. Please do the same for me. I notice women who power walk through Target, pushing their cart with more determination than I see from my dog when she tries to mind meld with me in order to get me to, "Give Me Your Ice Cream Cone!" Take it down a notch, you'll get your organic self-sustaining napkins and garlic hummus. Don't fucking panic. And don't get me started on swimming pool etiquette. I feel like I am getting better. Better at looking at the world with a neutral eye, live and let live, and blah blah, blah. But passive aggressive behavior has reached a whole new art form with Facebook and Twitter.

The whole idea behind social media is to provide a way to connect with people, if not face to face but mind to mind. I cannot be there with you, I am at work but I would like to check in with you. Sounds like a great idea. But the written word can be read in so many different ways depending on how you see the world. For instance, a person who has a podcast called Life on the Shit List MIGHT just assume the worst of people. A person with a larger than life ego might assume EVERYBODY thinks they can do no wrong. Perception is the key but I have a complaint about these social media outlets. Using Twitter and Facebook to get high on your horse drives me fucking crazy. Making vague comments leaving people to wonder "Is she talking about me?". Or "Oh, he must be pissed off at so and so". I know the writer feels better. It is out of their head and into the world and I am no stranger to venting on Twitter however, if you would not say this to their face, please don't say it on Twitter.

There have been times when I was desperate, throwing out the emotional "ALL HANDS ON DECK, I NEED SOME ATTENTION!" and I have tweeted the words "I hate Eric". What you may not know is that Eric is sitting right beside and I am telling him as I do it "I am tweeting that I hate you right now". It's all in fun. But if you are trying to convey a message through the social media hoping someone will read it but you don't have to take ownership of it, I just think that is all kinds of wrong and weak and childish. Look whose pointing the childish finger, me. To say I don't have these thoughts is a lie but it's called self-control and thinking about the consequences of your actions and is it WORTH it to put that negative energy out in the world. So again, I say, unless you are tweeting about the world's bitchiest cat who won't quit hissing and batting at your butt as you try to walk by, maybe think twice before hitting send. The same goes for giving unsolicited advice to celebrities, correcting their grammar or a misspoken detail. Challenging famous people on Twitter is the fastest way to get B-l-o-c-k-e-d. The only person who cares that John Lennon changed his middle name to Ono from Winston is you. Confession: I once called a local DJ to let him know this when he acknowledged John Lennon's birthday on morning show. Nobody likes a know-it-all and that's what I sound like right now. My point is the shower of shit from life has a strong enough current without adding unnecessary undigested corn.