Crying Part 1

I don't know how men feel but I imagine their hormones keep them on some sort of roller coaster ride every month, I know mine do.  This last Friday night at work, I just could not keep my composure.  Fortunately for me, I have a job where I CAN silently or violently weep in relative privacy.  I wish I could say this is a recent trend, that my approaching change of life has brought on all this high drama and misdemeanors but that truly would be a grand lie.

"Don't cry" said with barely hidden contempt & hate. "Quit crying" said with the last straw of patience. This topic is so embarrassing and hits so close to home, my edit button is flashing the warning lights and screaming "Abort Abort"!!! I've have always been a crier. My grandma, my dad, my mom, they all loved to tell me to quit crying.  What is so fucking bad about crying anyway?  If someone feels bad enough to cry, does telling them to stop really help your cause.  It can. You can scare them into quitting, that usually works.  I get it too, crying can be irritating especially if you don't give a shit about the person doing the crying. Things that make you go hmmmmm....

This I know is true for me.  Crying is a release of stress and tension.  Frustration often leads to crying.  And most of all crying has kept me from telling most of my employers to Fuck Off.  I'm telling you this edit button is strong right now.  Sometimes crying is all you can do.  And for me, if I can't feel anything strong enough about you that could make me cry, I may have given up on you.  My feelings of love and sadness are so closely tied together they are impossible to separate. 

All my life it has been beaten into my brain that crying is a sign of weakness but I think crying is hope.  In order to love someone, you have to be vulnerable.  Crying shows an open heart.

I used to think that sex and true love went side by side.  I now truly believe love and tenderness rarely have much to do with sex.  Sex is all lust and selfishness.  Love is adoration and love of time spent together and if someone is inspired with enough emotion and love to get upset enough to cry over you, don't shut them down, look at their open heart.  They've just given something you'll never see from 99% of the people you'll ever encounter.

The one who is willing to cry over you is truly the one who will love you and protect you so nobody will make you cry.

I will come back to this but the edit button is too strong.